Essays and Interviews and Fees, Oh My!

I'm applying to grad school.  Yes, I'm already in grad school.  I'm applying for even more.  As one of my Sunday School kids delicately asked me, "WHY???"  That's a good question.  Sometimes, I ask myself the same one.  But when it comes down to it, I can't do what I want to do in Psychology without more graduate work.  So here I go.

Below is a portion of my "personal statement" that I'm submitting in some of my applications.  It is my story.

I grew up in urban Philadelphia where education, diversity, or change were discouraged.  People sometimes graduated from high school but rarely completed college.  My neighbors were heterosexual, Catholic and blue collar.

My family, however, was Protestant, my brothers and I were home schooled, and my mom had a master’s degree.  We were different, in a neighborhood that demanded uniformity.  As a result, I grew up shunned by my neighbors.  We were regularly called “homos” and “fagots” or “Jesus freaks” and “Goddamn Christians.” 

My first encounter with sexuality questions was when my mom explained to me what those epithets meant and why people would use them. She said when people are uncomfortable they sometimes say mean things to make themselves feel better.  

Unfortunately, my home wasn't any more supportive of diversity than my neighborhood. My family was quietly elitist about education and religion.  Having had very few experiences outside this "bubble" until the end of high school, I naively believed that my neighborhood represented all of society.  I didn’t want to be like my neighbors but thought the only other option was to be like my parents.

In college, I realized there are more than two life paths. I knew some things from childhood would remain a part of my identity.  For example, though I knew elitism wasn't the right way to do it, I never questioned my spirituality.  I became fascinated by experiences that were very different from my upbringing.  I eagerly learned about other cultures and ways of life.  I began to observe, appreciate, and love diversity. 

I continued to encounter sexual diversity issues.  I heard people on my campus use the same names I was called as a girl.  In college, “gay” described anything negative or unknown.  My activism began by simply encouraging people to use their words wisely.

My interest in sexuality didn't stop there.  I wanted to educate the campus about such issues.  I made friends with people from the LGBT alliance.  Many of them had horrible experiences with religion.  I thought since I had faith but didn't discriminate, I could teach a different type of encounter, one where sexuality and faith crossed paths in peace.  I shared mutual respect with members of the LGBT community.   I loved hearing their stories.  It was an honor to be an ally.

When, as a master’s student, I was still drawn to sexuality issues I began to wonder if such a path would be a perfect career path.  Personally, I knew how it felt to be marginalized, and I had great empathy for LGBT people as a result.  Professionally, I became more fascinated by sexual identity studies.  I desire now to educate the public and continue to build alliance.